-br0kenheart,, `full of disappointment,,-

2011-09-08T16:38:00.001+08:00

2011-09-08T16:38:00.000+08:00

2011-09-02T10:40:00.003+08:00

Just some time that is worth spending with people who you love to be with.

2011-08-22T14:09:00.000+08:00

2011-08-19T09:51:00.002+08:00

Running ways to tell myself that I will go through no matter how things may turn to.

I starting to doubt how strong am I.

Lots of things been happening recently.

And other than knowing this year is ending soon, that's about it.

I let myself down a few times,

Thinking I make it through somehow.

But in actual fact, is telling I have not.

Running and try to caught up with my own pace... tiring.

missingMUMMY.

Peaches by New Heights (with lyrics)

2011-07-12T13:57:00.000+08:00

2011-04-27T23:50:00.007+08:00

I wish that words were cheap enough to be taken in.

So at least, I can take it easier from what everyone wants me to do so.

All this while, I know that how much I see myself in certain issues.

But after sometimes when everyone starts to talk about it and ask me why so?

I start to have doubts about myself.

Here I was telling myself I am sure this is me and how would I react,

Next moment I have to come around and try to say come on, you are over reacting it.

How ironic?

Doubts and trusted myself for so long keep coming around to question me.

So in the end, why am I holding on and what strives me to go so long?

Am I telling myself Nothing? Nothing at all ?

Is understood that no one would totally know how it feels like and what you meant.

Probably from you not speaking it and being particular of what comes out from you.

That's your question, what do you know and how it feels like?

Is not like I never try looking in from another side cause I did and in any every other way.

It only deserve to be hidden, thats all it deserved.

Cause is just yourself and just you alone.

No matter what and how much you think is not.
Let it go because it will come around and it happened and that's about it.

missingMUMMY

happy Mother's day in advance

and happy birthday to myself in advance. ;)

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris (Boyce Avenue acoustic cover) on iTunes

2011-03-31T14:30:00.000+08:00

2011-03-21T12:10:00.002+08:00

I don't need big talks to tell me how wonderful you are.

I don't need you to keep saying and clarified proving how good it is.

Of all the fairytale that has been showing all around, is just showing you the impossible.

At times when you feel like giving out, give it all a miss.

Reality strikes you so hard and tells you that is impossible.

And all you wanna do is just give it a real good slap.

I hate it.. hate this moment of all.

MISSINGMUMMY.

P!nk-Fucking Perfect [Greatest Hits]Lyrics in Description

2011-01-12T11:16:00.000+08:00

2011-01-06T11:52:00.001+08:00

2011-01-04T17:06:00.004+08:00

HOLA everyone! Happy New Year! =D

Eventually I still choose here. hahhaa. Ok.~

I hope everyone had a good kick start for the year! Despite the dragging yourself to work. =/

So eventually, it comes clear that every single year you will experience whole new things.

And yes, I do.

All the ups and downs, all the joy and sorrows that I've been through done it and forgo it.

Everything doesn't just happen for a reason and eventually I stop questioning why.

Isn't finding what's fair will be fair, isn't blaming it makes me go some where.

You will see it will stay, it will..

No matter you thought it will not, you dislike it hate it to the core, it just will.

No matter how much you wish it will stay.. it just leaves you before you know it.

What kind of life you are living?

Same human, same kind.. but just different life.

This min you might just be so firm with your decision about what your mind sets you.

And just another min, you are there hesitating that how sure are you.

I won't wanna know how ugly things could turn out to be because eventually I still sees it.

How much I've tried to make it better, it just wont.

I know the answer but then still keep on trying because what burns me is hope.

And what brings me down is hope as well.

But nevertheless, hope still leads me..

I still see rainbows apart from the storms.

Some feelings just stay with you, no matter how long ago it is.

It just a reminder, it just a feeling.

missingMUMMY.

2010-12-13T15:20:00.006+08:00

It keeps you wondering what does changes means to you?

Never did I actually feel it does matters after all.

As I was mentioning this to my friend..

I know that Fairy Tales don't exist at all.

But sometime I still wish it does even I know the truth tells me not.

What does you mean by compromising or how much are you willing to change.

Or sometimes, is not about changing.. Is after all you realized, this is just you.

You are who you are are, you are what you want to be and always have been.

It is things around makes you start questioning yourself,

And slowly you find that you long ago have lost it.

Everyone know how realistic this world it is, everyone know eventually it still hurts.

And you wonder why ppl still do things even they know it hurts.

Simple, is just pinning on their little hopes and feel is worth it.

Everything is ugly, is we to decide is nice, beautiful or not.

If everything is just by going how bad it is, how you know is going to hurt you.

Then I find, simply there's no point living on this earth.

This random thought just hit me.

missingMUMMY.

2010-10-30T00:42:00.001+08:00

When doing what you can is not enough.
When knowing you got to stand for your own reason.
I've run out of ways believing that all this will make sense after all.
Rainbow will appear after the rain, but where is it?
Hoping every single day it will be better,
But all it have done is showing me how bad it can be.
Is not showing how emotional I've become, is just showing how disappointed I am.
Hear no evil, speak no evil is what seems like is best for me.
And at this period, I just have the chance to see this all in a different prospective.
I wouldn't blame for all that had happened.
Because all I ever wanted is to go easy on whatever that is happening right now.
So many thoughts running in my mind, but I simply don't have the word for it.
I don't how am I suppose to express it out so that I can actually feel better.
Believing is the word of thinking I can make it through,
But how long can I endure or even hold on to what is holding me on?
missingMUMMY.

2010-09-15T13:59:00.008+08:00

When decision is made, how do you do to be firm with it?
When you make the choice, how would you make sure is right?
Never wrong or right is what everyone have said.
Seriously, is there any possible ways you can actually not feel anything about it?
When your mind is in a mess and probably have found the way to fix it,
Will you choose to face it or run from it?
How about doing the choice and then found out that this isn't what you want actually?
What would you do? Move on since is made, or go back to the track again?
Going back is what its best or leave to see from another view?
Go around thinking that's just it, it should'nt be that hard, asking yourself to take it a little easy.
But then you realize after trying and trying, it don't seems to be the way.
Is your mind who is playing the trick or is just the fact that this is how it has been?
Surroudings may be a great influence, but you can choose to be or not to be.
So is influence plus the mind who is confusing you or you know that just about it?
Human being is always confusing themselves,
They say that everything can be simple as ABC,
Problem is, if its so easy as ABC, there won't even be problems which will exist.

Is what you go through makes you who you are today.
That is why, everyone might just have different thinking for one point.
When one start to crash, usually the another one will come next.
Since is not like is the first time, as it happens most of the time.
Expert should be that word for it, but why you find it that hard to reach that stage?
Stronger as you encounter each problem, but how sure are you is not the outer side only?

Emotions is something no one actually has an answer how is actually possibe to effect someone.
Actually can cause you to be high as ever and carrying the wide smile everywhere you go,
But once is starting to crash, it seems like whatever you are doing, nothing seems right anymore.
This is LIFE, 4 letters word.
Looks easy but hard to go through.

When there's no expectation, there won't be disappointment.
Is not like you have the intention of having expectation sometimes.
Sometimes, it just build by its own.
When there's is expectation is because you care,
But because you care, you are afraid of disappointment.
If you don't care at all, nothing's going to matters anymore.
How weird things actually can be?

Decisions, Regrets, Disappointment, Expectations, Emotions.
Easy to be read, hard to be understood.

missingMUMMY.
How I wish I can see you.
A pat on my shoulder and tell me its all going to be fine, I'll make it through.

Switchfoot - Your Love Is A Song Lyrics :)

2010-08-04T19:13:00.000+08:00

2010-07-18T19:31:00.003+08:00

It's stay home Sunday and seriously I'm already feeling the Monday Blues. BORED!

Yesterday was another chill out session with the peeps over at Neverland.

Overall, its still another great night.

I guess without all this people that actually hang around..

probably I wouldn't have see myself.

So many feelings in me that I really don't know how to put it all in words.

I just wish that all this can just be over soon.. like real soon.

missingMUMMY.

I've always misses you.

Love The Way You Lie (Tyler Ward Acoustic Cover) - Eminem (ft. Rihanna) ...

2010-07-13T12:45:00.000+08:00

David Choi - That Girl - Official Music Video - Wong Fu Productions

2010-06-18T10:22:00.000+08:00

2010-06-09T18:19:00.002+08:00

Where were you when I needed the caught?
I'll still caught you when if you fall, where were you?
Its impossible if you don't even know what's wrong.
Unless you know what is wrong then maybe we can talk about us.
I don't wish to have the same issue again and again.
I'm left with nothing much, please don't take everything away.
I'm nothing better than you, nothing great about what is happening around me right now.
Simply just nothing...
missingMUMMY.
Move it or lose it.

2010-06-08T15:11:00.010+08:00

`
The feeling that is lingering around me now and previously is different.
I thought that the feelings shouldn't be that hard of me but why is it so?
Going every places and seeing myself with all the flash back memories.. is killing me.
Hoping that during this period that you actually see the problem, guess I was wrong.
Either is not important to you anymore or you just don't see anything wrong.
It freaks me out and I shiver like never before.
Maybe this is the best outcome but just why.. why with all this feelings?
I feel screwed up, walking aimlessly.
Tell me what should I do when it all falls apart?
Caught me when I fall... so, where's the caught?

2010-05-31T17:49:00.006+08:00

Finally the busy week is over!
Attended Joanne's wedding... man is tiring~~ hahhaa.
I still again wanna highlight that... CONGRATS to dearest JOANNE SEAH!!!
I actually got the flowers all thanks to Joanne Seah.
Told her not to signal left already, yet she just happily throw towards me.
]`

`
Gate crashing was awesome! =D
The funniest part is KW fell down while sitting on top on his bro whose doing pumping. LOL!!
Overall the wedding turn out pretty well =))
And so does the event, "xintua".
I see my eye bag and the dark circus around... so depressing.
Really need more beauty sleep to be pretty pretty again. hahaha!!
It's a busy week but do enjoy the times at the wedding and so does the event.
With the crazy young kids that keep me entertain everyday.. yea. pretty cool =D

2010-05-27T15:45:00.007+08:00

Been quite a busy week.
Went to Danlin's wedding last sunday, pretty awesome. =)
As everyone gather together to give her blessing.. like a cool!
And here comes the week that is all pack with events and wedding dinner again..
Got to help up with the "xintua" again for the whole week exclude sat.
As I got to go for joanne's wedding dinner and gate crashing.. like a BUSY!
Is only thursday but actually I'm kinda exhausted already.
Body is going to split into half anytime soon and having headaches almost everyday.
Bad cramps all over, like that! how to survive until sunday? hahaha.
I wish myself all the best!
I will of course appreciate someone who is nice enough to come massage me. HAHA. =))
`
Does keeping myself busy will bring silly thoughts away?
If so, please let all this carry on.
Yes, its tiring... but at least is doing the job right?
I think at least i still see myself through the reflection,
Is just dunno how true is reflecting me.
Maybe is best to know what's best,
But keeping what I've agreed is never easy and I need to go through it.
missingMUMMY.
Numb like really numb, feel nothing anymore.
I guess is best to just be myself only.
i need a break.

2010-05-17T17:50:00.004+08:00

Learning to let go is the hardest part.
Learning to know that is best, doing what you know is right.
Everywhere is all filled up.
You don't feel yourself anymore, heart just get deeper.
Is always making you breathless.
And when that comes to you, tears just roll down.
So tell me, how should I go through the tough period?
We are all trying a little hard,
those which hurt you, still hurts you.
those which you think it's ok, never do.
missingMUMMY.
I need some fresh air, to clear my kinky mind.
It's over.

2010-05-13T17:09:00.005+08:00

Looking back at some old entries...
Yes, it does sounds a little silly and I was laughing away.
But those, are just some good old time which I missed.
And almost forget that the last time I've heard from you from some familar places..
Was actually 2 years back already.
It constantly reminds me that never doubt how fragile feelings can be.
I expected nothing from you but still was a wee disappointment when I don't hear from you.
No point hanging on but still I wish you well.
missingMUMMY.
Those who I hope they remember it, did not.

2010-05-10T19:57:00.014+08:00

21st Birthday!

HOLA! took quite sometimes for the uploading of photos.

Is like.. So MANY! I've skip some and left the important ones =)

Celebrated my birthday @ Costa Sand Resort Pasir Ris.

Thanks to all who actually make the effort for attending. LOVES!

Here are the photos..

Lovely 21st Birthday cake from 3rd sis, hui zhen. =)

Family.. love ones.

Jolene. LYS

My usual!

Thanks GF and Siqi for the lovely ballon! =D

Classmates from SGS and ex colleagues from HD

First day of Chalet..

AWW.. Sis Kittie and Budd Chris.. thanks for all the help.. hehehe.

Zhenyong, Him.

Jon, Wei Jian. and SGS babes.

BUDDIES =D

The surpries on the actual day. THANK YOU! =))

Random picture with JX and Siqi before heading NANA. =)

Alright.. BIG THANK YOU to everyone who marks my 21st a sweet and memorable one!

2010-04-26T16:16:00.001+08:00

What if you find that there's no reason for all this.
And then will you still hang on there?
Is just coming on and on and never stop.
Even saying about all this, sometimes just makes me feel so sick!
I don't ask for much, just a little better will do.

2010-04-15T17:26:00.002+08:00

Where times you feel that the word "Responsibilities" is taking a little hard here..
What should you do?
The feeling of stuck in between, is making me even worse.
The feeling of wanting to get mad but then is like mean to be this way.
Every human beings has feelings but why don't they see mine?
I don't see there's a need to explain why, everyone just has different views.
I don't see there's a need to tear so I didn't.
And because I did not, I feel very crappy now.
I just wish everything can be erased, my mind just stop at that moment.
That moment which I wish it didn't happen.
All I ever wanted is just some understanding.
All I ever wanted to just keeping the ugly side away so, STOP FORCING ME.
missingMUMMY

How much I miss you can never bring you back.

2010-04-06T11:37:00.006+08:00

Is going to less than a month to my birthday!
I'm so going to be 21 alr, OMG!
I'm suppose to be looking forward for my party... but..
Once again, exams falls on my birthday and on the eve.
During this one month time, gg to study like mad alr. *FML*
And don't know why, I just feel like time pass so fast..
Until, I somehow losing track of what I'm suppose to do. TSK.

Photos taken at Bintan Getaway! =)

Came back home and saw neice with her cute school clothes.
Pull her over to take photo with me! hahaha.

missingMUMMY.
I'm just hoping one day I just stop having those weird dreams.
Dreams that is so fantasy to be true.
Bro going to POP this sat!
Going to pray mum after that =)

2010-04-01T11:20:00.002+08:00

I think I've sleep quite abit last night.
Don't know what time, I just doze off ~
I'm suppose to feel Charged! But NO!
I'm totally feeling very sick, very weak.
Giddy as ever, throat as pain as ever.. GOSH~ I think I'm having slight fever alr.
Great, just so great for a last working day of the week.
How to enjoy weekend like this? TSK.

2010-03-22T13:31:00.004+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday to Mr. Kitty!
May all your wishes come true! =)

Went over Nana to celebrate Kitty's 21st as his BD falls on Monday.
It was about 7 and a half bottles of soulmates.
I was seriously god damn happy!.. LOL
Maybe because is turn out that my sister is also there.
And.. I hasn't been stopping myself drinking the moment I reached.
Not drunk, but the hangover ytd was totally crap!
Yes, we bought kitty a gucci belt and hope he like it. =)
And brave him ok, he actually "blow" at least 21 secs. *Clap Clap*
I'm totally glad that he enjoyed his birthday! =)

Here's are some photo taken via my BB. =)

Never mind to have another drinking session like this.
I always enjoy being around with the usual and the right people
Making every drinking session filled with fun joy and laughter =)
We dance, we shake, we cry, we drink, get drunk and we have fun!
PS: I wonder why that day, most of my pictures are taking almost the same. LOL!

missingMUMMY.
It feels sucks that all along I thought I have let go by a little...
Turns out to be not even a single bit.
I just hope one day I can just stop making a joke out of myself! FCUK!

2010-03-15T10:41:00.005+08:00

Hola! It's been so long that I actually blog.

Kinda busy with my work actually.

Work just never seems to finish until this moment,

I'm suppose to be doing work right now.

But all thanks to clever me who left my laptop at home and forget to bring to work! LOL!

I actually remember to bring myself but not my laptop. HAHA!

I've got things save in my lappy,

was thinking should be fine if my boss is still around..

Can retrive from him but, his not around. =(
Anyway, enought of complaining my ass away...

Let's get to the main point..

On Friday, head to Dar's Social Night at his camp.

Oh man~~ look at the ladies there.. machiam come fashion show.. LOL

or worse, think is their house when they state is FORMAL WEAR.

I didnt see it, but he told me someone just so lian..

Actually wear hot pants and hold her cigg on hand. WTH.

I think she was thinking she at home lah.. I also not that meng. hahahha..

And.. yesterday was Jamie's FULL MONTH!

With friend's and family arriving at the same time..

I've got to help up a little on the baby sitting and the entertaining guest part.

Oh man..~ You know how it feels?

How it feels to have Jonas, Jermaine and Jerlynn in my room?

I can see my eeyore flying everywhere and my things all turn upside down.

THANK GOD! is over. hahahhaa.

Of course, is always nice to see them once awhile.

They are simply CUTE~ ~ =))

And of course the long wait of Jermaine~!!

I've yet seen her since her full month.

She really grown up alot. =)

I had fun the last few days.

Totally feel so contented since Friday.

Is only today... when all is back to the same and not very right.. hahaha.

missingMUMMY.

I had a weird dream last night..

and totally forget what is it about. CRAP.

2010-02-24T16:10:00.003+08:00

Understanding is something I wish I can have more understanding about it.
Doesn't matter who is right or wrong now.
What matters is, we are just dissapointed.
And thought everyone can just understand how it feels.
How bad can one really be? Never suspect it.
And you thought you have reach to next level, the facts tells you not.
The moment of feeling lost, the moment of just all alone.
MissingMummy.
I wish I'm just stronger a little bit more.

2010-02-23T15:58:00.003+08:00

Welcome Jamie Goh!

Pretty busy lately.

With CNY happening last week and things to do.. *Sweat*

CNY went pretty well, I'm glad everyone still doing well.
Oh yes, I am having some hard time to adjust myself back for the New Year mood -.-
Gathering at friend's place, gambling...
This is totally not a gambling year for me. TSK TSK.
Last back not least, everyone is back to work, back to reality. =(

2010-02-08T11:06:00.004+08:00

St James on Saturday Night! =)

Head to St James with B, ting and Kittie..
Yea, was movida if I remember correctly.
With the sucky latin music which we totally don't understand.
They rest ... still alright. hahaha.
With my crappy sister and group, the night turn out pretty well still.
Head Powerhouse for like an hour to dance since we got all access. hehehe.
Seriously, the crowd at PH is always so crowded.
Never once... I can really just stand there without ppl pushing around. TSK.
The only thing I'm happy bout PH is seeing some old friends.. hahaha.
And yes.. I woke up with a little hangover.
So I spent my whole entire Sunday rotting at home watching DVD. LOVE IT!
missingMUMMY.
Once again, CNY is round the corner.
And still.. not really looking forward..
Miss or not miss, I still have weird dreams. FML!

2010-02-01T11:22:00.005+08:00

The people that you can't live without can live without you..
This sentence has been going round my mind these days.
Totally true, but how much of the truth you are willing to accept?
Of all the thing I can do is just try not to think about it.
Nothing matters if things that you have said makes sense, but are you?
Go away emo, I don't need you wandering around me.
Gonna miss BF, having outfield for 10days means lesser contact for 10days.. CRAP.
Lots of things running round my mind,
but I just can't seems to get the words out right.

I just hope all this will just end soon.
And I hope the last call, I will mean it.
Maybe I was asking to much,
maybe you and I was meant to be just like this and never like the past anymore.
It was just me, pinning on the little hope that is left.
I'm really glad that you replied although we are just really nothing better than stranger.
Is just I get to msg but that's just it.
missingMUMMY.
You can't chase back what you have lost.
And I know I miss you dear friend, all along wishing you are doing just fine.

2010-01-26T16:40:00.006+08:00

I hate the feeling to see you not caring, totally not!

And all you know is just asking for the same old thing.

Is more of like no choice, have to then feeling willing about it.

Totally crap! I feel like shit when talking you.

With you only know one thing and with me having no choice.

I would rather I can be a little heartless so that I could be better.

No, you are really not making me any better but just even worse.

You spoil my days since last Friday and I'm trying to get over it.

So don't! Don't test me again! I might go CRAZY!

I rather you just take whatever you want from me one shot.

Don't say words that is worse of all! REALLY DONT!

Trying to say you are the worse, I'm nothing better either.

So please, be a little fair to me.

I hasn't been treating you bad, why are you doing this to me!!!

missingMUMMY.

I just wish you got a stop button!

Crap, I shouldn't have sent that.

Now I just seems to make everything back or even worse.

When I thought, is at least a little better.

Remember those who cannot live without you then people who can live without.

Is always easier to say than done.

2010-01-18T16:57:00.002+08:00

No, nope, nothing.
Hoping on something that I've long ago know there is no hope.
Giving myself excuses to hold on because I can't let it go.
Am I trying a little hard here?
I try many times, but always ending up the same.
Quite screwed..
I told myself I will give it a last shot and eventually let it go if it don't work out.
But will I?
Just when I try to determine myself, I actually find no confident in me.
Screwed up..
I don't wish to carry on being like this and neither do I wish to carry on behaving like shadow, but that's just me.
FML....

2010-01-13T13:31:00.002+08:00

I remembered us going out every year on this very day.
Us as a family, happily dining together.
Lots of noise cause I'll be there fighting with my brother and my both sis gossiping away.
And is always your birthday equals to us.
Because it will be you giving us things that we want instead us giving it to you. =)
You will always with the kindness smile of all and always just give what we want.
Although at times you'll get so pissed of because of us,
but you never fail to just angry for that while only.
Why? cause you loves us.
It will definitely be me and brother in the car fighting and irritating you.
And once you cannot stand it anymore,
there goes! we are so dead!! haha.
You will just turn to the back sit and start to pinch us with your powerful "Pinch, Turn, Pull".
Me and brother will try our best to not let you reach us.
Yes, laughing at each other who got pinched.. which mean the person lose. =D
The noise that is so irritating, the nagging that never stop...
The fav sentence when you called,
"What time you coming back home?"
Me: Soon
And the moment you hear my reply, you just within secs hanged up my call.
That's the gangster you, very cool and calm.
Always there to protect and be the calmest of all,
in order to assured us everything will be fine.
missingMUMMY.
Out of sudden, memories starts to flows in.
Happy Birthday Mummy!
I miss you so much =')

2010-01-11T11:13:00.004+08:00

Had steamboat session with the usual on Friday.
Hell lots of teasing around and talking non stop.
Just imagine us finishing our steamboat at bout 10 plus 11 and sat there till 1. WOOT!
Yes, finally a new phone.. like at last!
Bought Blackberry Bold 9700! woohooOoo!
And and ytd, head to orchard to shop and dar actually share with me a IPOD Touch!
He said for my late Christmas gift. LOL!
Aww~ anyway is ok if its late or not or is not because is just the thought that counts. haha!
And duh~ I spent like 1k within a week.
I shall really control myself before I really broke and no money to eat. hahahha.
So what's next? A new wardrobe? hmmm. =x
missingMUMMY.
Remembering is only the way of keeping memories.
Thanks LYS for the gift! =)

2010-01-04T14:32:00.003+08:00

Happy 19th Birthday to TJX! <3

Early birthday celebration cum New Year! =)

3 and a half bottles plus 1 tower of beer.. come on~~ This is killing man! hahaha
Is really been so long I have so much of drinking.
And in order to compensate the so less drinking session I had.
I just had it all in one time.
Damn! Budd killer Martel with warm water is shit! -.-
I seriously hate the taste and is always hard to drink it all cause is warm.. eekk~!
And the sudden of drinking on the rock as B throw it all to me is.. giddy in my head. LOL!
We say we need to make JX drunk like there's no tml, yup! we made it!
She is easy shit. HAHA. Because she don't really drink that much as the rest.
So after a few rounds of 5 , 10 and few rounds of drinking... she's gone.
Gone like there's no tomorrow, and it takes and hour plus to bring her back to senses. haha!
Ahhh~~ thinking of it really makes me laugh.
And for the rest.. damn! all so hardcore! hahaha.
The last few standing which at least really have a little senses are..
Budd, Kittie, Hong and Me. Why?
Budd is pro at drinking warm water!
Kittie run away.
Hong need to take care Min and cannot get really drunk.
Me? Haven really figure why yet. HAHA.
But yes, the last few standing I can say is all TIPSY! woot! hahaha!
is cool shit of fun! And seriously I enjoyed myself and so do my peeps =D
We shall await for the next hardcore drinking session soon! HAHA =)) loves.
missingMUMMY.
And this is when you know all this matters to you or not.
A brand new start of the year..

2009-12-28T15:37:00.014+08:00

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to everyone! =)

Had Christmas exchange at dar's place.
It was funny seeing them teasing each other.
Like, walking towards you and let you think you are the one receiving it but not? LOL!
Head for a movie after that, damn it was tiring.
I can hear ppl snoring beside me which I believe his not only the one falling asleep.
I think I slept for 5mins, can't sleep longer. GV sit so not nice lo!
Yes, watched Sherlock Holmes.
It was nice actually, maybe because it was eve.
Everyone was still working in the morning.
So by the time when is midnight and still a movie, is going to kill. hahaha.

His smart, real smart. Any little things he can tell. Damn Cool!

Yea.. attended Christmas Party at John Ji's place, and it was fun after all =)
Was being syco by budd, insisting I should come.
I should not, not pick your call.. BUT I know you sure will let me off so easily. haha
It was hell lots of chilling around, playing card and playing his PS3! FUN! hahaha.

Spot me? I way at the back with my signature post! =D

And last but not least, with a random msg from JX asking for movie ytd.
Didn't manage to book 3D, but is alright.
Cause, Avatar still turn out great without 3D. HAHA.
Yup, went there with my usual peeps and they was gg on and on bout sticking my hair to the trees -.-

If I have the chance to go to Pangora, I wouldn't mind at all! =))
Ok! Jojohui! slap yourself back to reality!! hahaha.
I'll give this show 5/5.
After all, is a great show! Worth watching!!! =))

missingMUMMY.
I don't know why I ended up sleeping for only an hour plus when I was on my bed for hours! -.-
Is good to know that you are doing fine.

2009-12-21T17:27:00.002+08:00

Can I like mute myself? So that I don't hear myself coughing and so do the rest.
is really getting from bad to worse.
And I think my boss cannot stand it. HAHA.
Boss: You are still coughing?!
Me: Yea, from bad to worse. *with the sick face*
I'm so gonna see the doctor before I start coughing out blood! -.-

2009-12-16T17:18:00.003+08:00

When you really feel like giving up, what would you do?
`
Head JB yesterday with peeps, had great fun chasing time. haha
It was all thanks to our dear friend who said just go up sign one paper come down alr.
Yet, it took an hour plus instead of less than half an hour -.-
The main dish that we ate took only 20mins and Lok Lok that took another 20mins,
AND WALA~ we are done to rush back to SG.
Cause FYI, from today onwards cars have to be 1/4 petrol only when leaving Malaysia.
So we kan chiong to pump petrol and kan chiong out to leave before 12am.
Freaking full and almost vomit in the car cause our dear friend drive damn fast. -.-
But of course! I do enjoyed myself at the end. HAHA =))
missingMUMMY
What do you say to a long lost friend?
What do you do when you feel that hope is gone?

2009-12-07T10:56:00.003+08:00

`
Underneath anger is hurt, underneath hurt is love.
`
I'm feeling tired and disappointed rather than feeling sick.
Feel so lifeless and I don't really know why.
And I just feel so tired everyday no matter how early I sleep.
So hard to convince myself that everything will be alright and I will make it through.
I hate it, hate when you said you will do it yet it turn out the other way round.
I dun understand the meaning when you say you understood.
Cause I really dunno do you?
Just when you try to tell yourself you will make it through,
Something just will happen and make it harder.
missingMUMMY.
I'm kinda lost right now. kinda..

2009-12-01T11:39:00.004+08:00

Hoping there's something to look forward, something which worth a smile.
Long wanting something to smile about and really.. feels great about it.

Take care Siti!
You must be really happy then you going back to Kampong eh!
From the way I look at you yesterday.
But of course, I can see that you are sad that you leaving Jerlynn. haha.
I'll miss your Nasi Lemak! WILL! Will confirm miss that =(
And all those good food that you cook! =(
Man, is going to hard to adapt with the new maid which arrive today.
If I'm not wrong, her name is Tina? Hmmmm.
Yup, we had a farewell dinner with Siti yesterday.. aww~~ I'll Miss You!

Yesterday was also my colleague last day.
DAMN! What was wrong with the last day thingy? Kinda annoying. -.-
Farewell with him was last week with my ex colleague and all.
Had great time chatting with them =)
And YES!
From today onwards, Jojohui have higher changes of eating alone..
Because she don't eat with her Caucasian colleagues..
And she believe she will make subway her best friend. -.-
GOD! What a lonely lunch time for every working day.. Sigh~~
missingMUMMY.
I'm gonna buy lots of sweet and put in the office,
in case my mouth stink for not talking much during office hours -.-
Yaya, bro's last day of work was ytd too. -,-
His gg army on 11 Dec '09
AHHH!~!!!~!!~!

2009-11-24T23:16:00.005+08:00

2009-11-23T11:43:00.004+08:00

Very uncomfortable, emotional. You can say it all.
This two week has been hell! Extreme hell.
Things that used to be right went wrong.
And things suppose to be wrong turn out right.
Is always like one starts to fall, the next one with be right after.. never ending.
Everything is just WRONG.. totally WRONG!
I treasure you my friends and so do my loves ones.

This is when you know, how much you can take it.
I didn't know and never want to know how it feels to lose a friend like this.
Yes, we have not been contacting lately and I seen him last was on March during class gathering.
His been my classmate for 4years and we have always been very ok.
We joke, we play, I smack him, he don't smack me back, I tease him, he don't tease me back.
His that shy boy in my class.
That always step as thought his fierce whenever someone is against him.
Wouldn't bother to listen much during lesson but might interfere in some fights.
I was still teasing him when I last saw him and he is still the same and that's him.
I force my tears to hang in there and only to drop my tears before and after.
Seriously, is also my first time seeing Kittie becoming another person.
Hang in there! You will make it through like everyone.
missingMUMMY.
R.I.P Yu Long
And that is why I got so much urge to tell you I treasure you my friend.
ookgee

2009-11-16T16:14:00.001+08:00

So I could crash , close my eyes
Try to go to sleep and bring you back but I can't bring you back.

2009-11-08T19:16:00.003+08:00

Saturday Night @ Double O

Kinda hangover till today for the drinking session last night.
Out of sudden, I just realise I don't even know how much I drank. LOL
Anyway. HAPPY 24th BIRTHDAY to PIKA! =)
May all your wish come true =D
Alot of drinking, dancing.
And I seriously enjoy myself last night.
Seeing everyone so HIGH! HAHA.
Esp, Ah Lon.
I think is my first time seeing him drunk.. is FREAKING funny!! hahahah.
Plus, his brother is drunk too.. OPS! I mean High.
And the two brother need the two ladies to fetch them home.
I think they having some hard time in the cars.
With the sudden stop and.. I think better not say much. LOL!
Wouldn't mind to have another drinking session like this. =)
missing MUMMY.
I seriously have a good night and good laugh after so long =))

2009-11-05T10:56:00.003+08:00

So much of the memories.

Just when you see someone close to you cried.

Is never easy to feel any better.

True that I'm not really close with the person you cried for, but it effects me somehow.

Maybe because she happen to have the same illness like Mummy.

The forever nightmare that you can never imagine.

And the forever feeling helpless feeling.. is not what everyone understand.

Home seems to be a little down these days.

With everyone so worried about the illness.

I try to entertain everyone, crapping silly jokes.

But I know seriously nothing much I can do to make them feel better.

And because of the incident,

I just simply cannot stop myself with the flooding memories of the past.

Just annoying!

missingMUMMY.

Get well soon A!

2009-10-27T12:00:00.000+08:00

Have been quite emotional lately, not behaving like myself.
Another year just pass by again.
Is just got to be like a lesson to learn.
Everytime when it reached this day,
I always felt that I lost my way again..
But, is because I'm without you.
I learn bout the life I have to go through.
I'm sucha loser! Loser for forgetting an important day.
Busy at work isn't an excuse!
I should all along kept that in my mind. ARGH!
I think about alot of things as usual.
How I actually behave.
And is always too late, too late to have that chance to say that to you.
How much you actually care for me.
How much you wanted me to be better.. yet I did not.
Ok.. I'm lost again, real lost.
Maybe because I just miss you real bad.
This is the life, the life I'm going through.
missingMUMMY.
Sometimes, I wish I still can get that feeling I've always missed.
Which is impossible........................
Tell me what's wrong with me!

2009-10-23T15:53:00.004+08:00

Happy 4th Birthday to Dearest Tian Xin <3

I bet she is enjoying herself swimming for these past two days =D
DUH!~ Everyone is sleeping like there's no tomorrow today in the chalet.
And there's only me who need to wake up that early to work. -.-
WORSE, I'm alone at office but I cannot knock off from work. TSK.

I hate it when I'm angry but I'm behaving like I'm not.
The feeling is kinda annoying me at times.
Is just to be angry and thinking you know it will happen and don't be.
fcuk. Is like another way of suffering me.
OK!.. I'll be fine, I'll be fine.
I won't hold the gesture for long.

My colleague said this to me "Jolene, you're legend"
Why? because I actually help him do his WORK.
And complete it in 3days time.
I have been cursing and swearing the moment I see the workload I need to do.
Is not going to work next time.
Not just carrying me "UP" works.
And don't think I'm always that nice to you.
You're simply taking advantage of me sometime. -.-
missingMUMMY
here it comes, another year is going to pass. =')

2009-10-13T11:21:00.005+08:00

Acting like everything is ok?

I think that feeling sucks totally.

I know isn't feeling good about it,

But what else can I do?

I think, other than acting like everything is ok.

I couldn't do anything more than that.

After all, is just going to be same thing.

Things that remain still do.

And so, what is there to tell myself.

The more you've given to a relationship, the harder you can put up with the other party betraying you. If you are so calculating in everything, you will only make human relationship more fragile.

missingMUMMY

Sis post in FB:

Huizhen Hui Zhen say...4 years have past n we still miss u MUMMY

2009-10-04T20:01:00.002+08:00

good game!!
I'm having exam tomorrow and I actually study the wrong module!!
I'm like, so proud of myself can?! hahaha.
People! wish me good luck!!! -.-

2009-09-29T11:49:00.005+08:00

Bad Tuesday! =@

I totally think is really hard to communicate with my boss..

Just when I say it won't work,

he rather go blame on other then.. -.-

This is just how is suppose to be at work.

There are times which you really feel so helpless, tsk.

missingMUMMY

really weird,

those dreams which you know it won't happen.

2009-09-24T14:42:00.005+08:00

I thought it came to life.
But just went I thought it could be so real.
No, I woke up and realise i'm just dreaming.
I even remembered I was smiling and laughing so happily in there.
So tell me, why will this actually happen?

Is way too impossible to let you and be still be the same.

Everything is so perfect in the dream,

But is imperfect because is just a dream.

A dream which is too sweet to be true.

missingMUMMY.

I think the courage of mine,

is just way in that corner. ~~

2009-09-14T23:48:00.005+08:00

`
Bring me to a place which I belong.
A place which can only be fantasy.
I try to reach out for that light,
But when it gets nearer it goes far away again.
Guide me through,
guide me and tell me that it will be fine.
`

missingMUMMY.

mi, did you hear my prayers?

I was shocked to see that msg of urs, thank you.

I will make it through.. can I?

2009-09-09T23:59:00.003+08:00

Special day indeed.

o9o9o9, once in a lifetime thing.

I know, so many things kept in there.

When this moment I know I got to write it down,

I wrote nothing much.

Yes, I'm a failure indeed.

I thought I found the courage to at least write a little.

But still, I'm afraid of that feeling.

And that feeling to let it happen again, No! no way.

Still, I hope you enjoy yourself.

All I wish is one fine day, if I will to call you.

Yes, not because of anyone, just me.
You will pick up and remember we are friends.

When you vent that anger on me.

I choose to walk away.

I don't know what I'm doing is right or not.

But seriously, you see nothing in all this after so long.

So how should I feel and react to you?

As normal as you think I can be?

I don't know how.

You got too many thing which is so negative about me.

Seriously, does it matters if i say something positive?

Way too disappointing, way to tired.

I think I'm really going crazy soon.

missingMUMMY

Happy Birthday.

Isn't the outcome is expected?

Wake me up if all are just nightmares.

2009-09-05T16:14:00.000+08:00

Yes, is saturday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DEAREST TEO HUI PING =D
& not forgetting AH HIM! =)

I'm suppose to look so forward for it!!
BUT.. I'm here stuck in my office.
Thanks to some presentation held in office.
LIKE boss said: Jolene can you can by 2pm tomorrow?
like CUTE.. can I seriously say no to him? -.-
and they are talking about a 5digits or more deals.
Alright, be glad that the presentation went so well =)
Ok, I shall head home now. =D
missingMUMMY.

2009-09-01T00:00:00.005+08:00

Yes, I have a caught up session with my peeps on Friday.
Damn, it was great!.
We have a hell lot of laughing through the night.
And how a John Young can turn out to be Peter Young.
Which I don't understand how JX could said that wrong. HAHA.
Weekend was fine too =)
missingMUMMY.
will everything end just like this?
Or there is still a turning point soon?

2009-08-27T23:29:00.001+08:00

Someone told me is still too early to say it's over, it's the past.

2009-08-24T23:11:00.001+08:00

Ok. today is one of my colleague last day,
Sad but I wish him all the best =)
And everyone is simply with that Monday blues face. HAHA.

Can i say this?
I THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH BLOGSPOT.
Where is the icon? suddenly like gone.. -.-
So people! no photos upload these days,
Cause i seriously don't know what went wrong.
And if this thing going to piss me off once again.
I will switch!! HAHA.

I tried and i fail once again.
But yes, I actually expected it.
I just thought sometimes things would be different.
And that's what I'm hoping for.
Okok, everything will be fine.
missingMUMMY.
sisters going to pray mummy tomorrow
and Me... work. =(

2009-08-18T20:34:00.001+08:00

Work for Monday and Tuesday was great!
Boss not around, I feel much more relax. HAHA.
With him around, I feel like I couldn't focus on what to do.
Is really weird, when I look out from the window,
Is raining so heavy!
And when I look again,
Is sunny like as thou I will melt if I'm outside. -.-

And how should I believe it again?
Damn! I think is just get a little hard each time.
I don't really know am I judging it or seeing the facts.
I believe there is some which is not the facts.
Please Jojohui! would you just let everything be the way it is?
Too disappointing or wad?
Why when I say I'm trying I feel like I'm not doing so.
I start to feel irritating at times..
And somehow don't even feel like bothering.
Yes, I keep trying and hope I don't fail myself again.
But trust my dear, is such a big word.
I don't know will I be able to manage it once again.
missingMUMMY.
Is everything changing for the better or not?
Now I know how it feels to be you.
Bea and Chris wants to steal my sorrows away (=
And that JX.. 2K -,- LOL.

2009-08-11T13:09:00.002+08:00

I thought i can manage to take it one more time.
I thought everything is over.
I thought you have waken up from your nightmare.
No, you did not.
Have you actually know how it feels to know about it?
Yes, you are the cause.
Yes, you are the one who is totally involve.
But, we are just part of it.
Not just thinking that you are the only one who is hurt.
Not just thinking you are the one.
Do you know how it really feels then?
Telling me you know how it feels.
And then, do it once more.
Very helpless indeed.
It felt like there's nothing I could do.
And is felt like is best to let you to go through alone.
To know how it really feels.
I try so much to convince myself.
Yet, you let me down again.
So, how forgiven did you think I was?
To be able to take the impact again and again.
WHY DID YOU TELL ME YOU KNOW?!
WHY DID YOU TELL ME YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?!
WHY DID YOU TELL ME YOU KNOW WHOSE THE ONE INSIDE THE MIRROR?!
oh whatever! is just going to be another disappointment.
missingMUMMY.
what else can I do?

2009-08-07T16:00:00.001+08:00

weird, but I like to thanks my love ones. HAHA.
from Monday to Thursday Beatrice has been so sweet!.
acc for lunch, be it she's having lunch or not.
She is just going to sit there and watch me eat. LOL
I was thinking today should just be a normal day.
Eating alone or something...
but ACTUALLY, my two peeps is so nice.
Gucci and Chris actually both message for lunch today!
without them know that actually they both are coming! hahaa.
Indeed sweet of everyone =D
Yes, nice caughing up !!
and dearest to fetch me from work. =)
okok, love you all deep deep!! hahaha.
Yes budd, thanks for the sweets!.
Simin and dearest for the Eeyore =D
missingMUMMY.

2009-07-27T21:00:00.007+08:00

Busy weekends, not enough sleep.
But I seriously do have alot of fun.
Had a gathering at east cost with my peeps.
Seeing ah hong's flying two kites with chris..
which never come back. LOL!
and seeing JX manage to fly her kite and so happy with it.
indeed had some great fun after such a long time.
LIKE..
I forgot when is the last time i woke up so early to east cost??
yup, has some drinking session in the night too! =D

Picture : Therine (Early Celebration)

YES YES.
THE LIVERPOOL MATCH ON SUNDAY.
LIVERPOOL!!! never WALK ALONE =D hahaha.
althou I'm not that kind of die hard fan you seen at the match.
BUT BUT.. I'm of course a liverpool fan! and always have been =D
Is really a good experience.
Something which I experience LIVE in a match.
Indeed, it was totally different.
To compare you sitting at home watching from the screen.
SIMPLY LOVE IT!

The KOP Comes To Asia 2009
(Carol, Marcus, Anson, Jolene, Mei Ho, Bion)

Walk On, Walk On
With Hope in Your Hearts
And You'll Never Walk Alone
You'll Never Walk Alone

weird? actually I didn't take any photos using my phone. LOLS.
is all is carol's phone.
Sorry ah! cause jojohui got lousy camera.
Yes, and I forget to bring my Digi Cam with me -.-
shall update the pictures if I got the chance. =)

2009-07-21T23:28:00.003+08:00

`
Sometimes, I just think is hard to communicate.
Be it to someone I know, or someone not that close.
Sometimes, is really HARD.
I find it weird these days.
I dunno why, might be because everyone is tired?
I'm not sure.
I just know I'm hoping because is the healing period,
So it turns out to be a little cold.. weird.. quiet.
Where did everyone go?
Or where did you go?
missingMUMMY.
my bro got my mummy's pic!! i want!! hahaha.
selfish bro, just won't let me have it :@

2009-07-19T16:52:00.002+08:00

`
Chill at Dbl O on Saturday night.
With, my family? LOLS.
with third sisters and friends.
had some crazy night and alot of drinking!
I got to say, althou my sister have not been drinking for sometime..
She is still a good drinker!!
As usual, drinking beer like water like this. haha.
Seriously, beer very nice? =x
Yes, indeed having some crazy night,
Everyone was feeling tipsy enough.
Yes yes, jojohui also! hahaha.
And of course, no matter how good drinker my sis is.
She is also tipsy. LOLS.
Cannot blame it right? she drink pretty lot!! =)
`
Yes, alot of things is happening right now.
I dunno is right for me to be firm this time.
Neither did i know i make it right.
I just feel that when I hoping so much you could do something.
No, I felt you done nothing.
Is not those sms I've sent you, or you calling me just once.
Or I'm trying to make up and you are there acting cool.
No very nice indeed.
I got nothing to convince myself.
Is not that I wanna have a decision for myself.
Is just that,
I really don't want to have whatever is happening in us.
To be still happening if we still remain.
`
Going to every places.
Or put it this way, whenever I'm awake,
I still know what I'm doing.
You are there to mess up my mind.
I couldn't think straight anymore.
I don know what is good, I dunno what is right.
I just know, I'm A Big Failure.
missingMUMMY.
Please, somebody?
Get me out of here!! ='(
I really dunno what I should do for now..........

2009-07-15T16:51:00.004+08:00

I think if today I can take MC I will be freaking happy!
But NO!, didn't. =(
Cause why? today was raining all morning.
Just how I wish I could sleep a little longer.
Bea said she has been smiling and laughing to herself.
I mean, for the whole day. Ya, so in love lo. Somebody! LOLS
`
I don't really know how do I get mad.
But I know, if I am mad. I'm serious about it.
I'm just like this isn't it?
Go with the wind as where the wind bring me to.
This moment I will be mad, so what's next?
Not running away from the truth.
Just dunno where is the truth bringing me to.
missingMUMMY.
cool down.. think straight.
so how far can you not run away from the truth jo?
I think you are.

2009-07-13T16:39:00.006+08:00

`
;Far Apart
`
Totally, bad Monday!
I think I woke up wrong side of the bed. MUST BE.
It's just so not my Monday.
Would people know that?
Actually I wore cardigan almost everytime I'm at office?
Because my boss need the air con to be really cold.
They are Caucasian you see, they get hot easily.
So practically freezing at times -.-
I guess no.
Excluding people who I work with and meet me for lunch, friends.
`
I felt this feeling so strong,
This hurt, disappointment and mad of everything.
I just done something for the very first time in my life.
Something which I'm trying to hold on so badly.
But still, I broke down.
No, not like this. Is not nice.
I don't think I deserve to be told off like this.
NO! not at all.
Because even my friends, family and my MUMMY.
Don't say me off like this.
So, have I been treat like a human being?
And you said you done nothing wrong?
I guess I was the one. Paranoid, irritated and thinking too much.
Yes, must be. Must be me!!
missingMUMMY.
mi, tell me everything is alright?
I'm afraid I can't hold on that long.
I need your hug =(
I'm too far apart from you then I expected.
You should, should really think how it feels to be me..
These days...
Time out, time alone.

2009-07-09T13:45:00.004+08:00

`
When It Comes To You, There's Nothing I Can Do.
`
Want to do it, but I can't help it.
Think of it every second, and is not helping me.
I don't know what to do about it.
And bet there's nothing much I could do either.
Trust, Misunderstanding, Communication Breakdown.
Damn, something I just really hate these few!
It takes two hand to clap jo,
Just like how much you want it to be so.
Not everything you can just do it by your own.
Mood not very healthy these few days.
But maybe is never that healthy in my life. HAA
Plenty of thoughts, whenever I'm free.
Do you know how good to just to be on your bed,
Listening some slow rock, slow song, slow rnb and is raining outside?
To me, UP! =D
I'm so enjoying it yesterday when I'm home.
and my pretty sister just come in so anxiously..
and totally SPOIL THE MOOD -.- hahha
Sis: You still don't want to go out? I thought you say you gg out? -.-!!!
missingMUMMY.
You've changed. I remembered.

2009-07-03T22:22:00.010+08:00

Weird isn't it?

A normal healthy lady like me can actually fall sick. LOLS

At first I thought that taking a day or two MC will do.

just a little giddy and unwell.

lucky dar asked the doctor to give me 3days MC.

because, who will expect that night while resting at home.

I got high fever!! -.- like 39.9??

damn, just how smart jojohui can be.

I predict that I will have fever sooner or later.

but of course! i didn't predict high fever lah! hahahah.

plain porriage for the past three days.

no junk food nor nasi lemak =(

I tell you!!! I'm gg to have as much as I can when i recover! HAHAHAAH

pratically is wake up eat, eat med then sleep.

just so weak and sleepy all the time. -.-

I think the med is too powerful .. ~~

at last! fever went all the way down.

just some cough that is irritating me -.-

Oh ya! jojohui never smoke for two days! =D

but will smoke when she get well. LOL!

missingMUMMY

i felt so lucky that i don need to admit hospital. HAHA

so not nice to feel so sick. -.-

MC from 1 July to 3 July 2009

2009-06-29T10:50:00.007+08:00

Fast~ June is going to be over.

How can you seriously expect?

Like OMG? last weekend was like... hell -,-

attended Jermaine's Full Month on saturday.

attended childhood friend Full Month on sunday.

and Sis baby one year old birthday.

like.. OMG! -.- pocket one big hole. HAHA

is weird right?

all my sister just don wanna give her xiao mei a break =(

oh ya! watched transformer on sat midnight. great show

COOL! bumblebee is seriously cute.

never fail to do what's best =D

what you mean when you say be there whenever you need someone?

sometimes, i wonder. will that person remain the same as time goes by?

i lost that something which i think i could control and handle.

think bout the further, think bout what happen next.

think what you will want in the further..

no more high hopes, no more thinking that it will be.

just let everything happen the way is suppose to be.

people will still carry on to love, to hate, to like and to dislike.

and so not that you manage to make everyone understand.

you are not some superhero jo,

you are just who you are.

just stay and regret if you want and appreciate what you have.

down down down. so down.

missingMUMMY.

weird.

how are you lately?

doing fine? still staring at walls?

maybe not,

i remembered you said you're not the same anymore.

2009-06-22T11:08:00.004+08:00

We just can be so fragile isn't it?

things that we think we can pull through, we hardly did.

things we know it cause us apart, we hide from the truth.

how much do you actually believe yourself, that you can pull through?

show that you scare when you actually are.

show that you need someone when you really do.

yea, you know that there's a hole in there.

you know that you going to fall badly when you are in there.

but because of a little beautiful things to find in there that attracts you

makes you just got to give it a try even thou you know you gonna hurt.

remember, you may find all the beautiful things and also, the ugly ones.

will you still be able to take it?

as much as you dig the hole,

how long will you takes to come out as the hole gets deeper?

how long do you think you will believe yourself?

believe that you'll still see beautiful things more than the ugly ones as you dig?

that's how ugly this world is gonna be.

good things never last.

so be sure that is just gonna be so ugly.

you can be here when im sad, when i need someone.

but how sure you know is just gonna be like this.... in 10years time?

how much you know is enough to maintain the r/s or f/s you have now?

are you giving enough care? secure to whoever that need it so?

maybe not, maybe yes.

but sometimes, you will just lost the fighting spirit. Have I?

missingMUMMY.

how are you doing nowadays?

i miss you badly mum. just this few days. is worse.

be strong girl, you got to pull through.

you should know what kind of path you have choose.

2009-06-15T14:00:00.002+08:00

`
Monday once again BUT bad monday.
weird attitude, weird message.
a little confuessing when people keep telling me is alright,
when is not.
and showing that you care.
but actually never done much?
wad's with monday?
or is it me who is feeling blue? i wonder..
just no, not good bad monday, not very nice.
there shall not be goodbyes when you intend to say hi.
`
yea, saturday was celebration for jerlynn's BD.
@ Pasi Ris, Costa Sand.
happy 1st birthday JERLYNN GOH!.
i bet you have a great time on your birthday ya?
shall update the photos once i get it.
she's cute! indeed cute.
clapping and laughing so much,
when everyone sang her, her birthday song =)
missingMUMMY.
what's wrong with monday?!
it's killing me!! @@

2009-06-08T13:40:00.002+08:00

maybe everything wasn't that bad.

I guess, Im thinking too much.

certain things suppose to be the way it is.

look at us and tell me what we are? Cause I've lost my way.

Is all about his hurt and Im sorry.

when sorry is use right, is forgiven.

but when is not, it just totally so wrong!

I don wanna be like this and neither am I feeling good about it.

Is hard for the rest to understand how it really feels.

but how bout myself?

I don even know at the end of the day, what is all this for?

Why on earth will I stand in a position,

which understand how it feels to be both?

it sucks to know that I will have this day, stuck like this.

I thought I've given enough time for myself.

but apparently, I did not

I hate to see the truth

On someone which I think it won't happen on them.

But I just did. Not just once,

and how it feels? totally sucks.

i may be heartless in some ways.

but I'm sorry, I've done what I can about it.

missingMUMMY.

i feel so terrible now.

I don't want this day to draw near.

but you seems to left me with no choice.

Yes, cheerup girl.

I'll be here if you need.

2009-06-01T21:53:00.002+08:00

Welcome our little princess! Jermaine Leong Rui Ting <3

when to visit san jie yesterday.

ok, my sis is having speedy recover.

just that her stomach still hurt as much.

hee. too long never see such a small size baby.

carrying her makes me feel i'm like a giant. LOLS.

her brother is so cheeky.

sis ask to go sayang mei mei.

he go over and wanna beat mei mei. haha.

had dinner over sis house and head home after that.

seriously, prince is growing so fast.

haha, jonas can even tell where his eyes how a cow mooo.~ lols.

and i simply love it so much whenever i ask him to..

alamak! haha. he know how to alamak oK! LOLS. cute boy!

`

missingMUMMY.
did you see wad is happening right now? =)

2009-05-28T21:21:00.004+08:00

Friday Friday Friday Friday!

Suppose to happy right?

but damn, i guess i got a busy weekend too.

so, no sleeping like a pig this weekend. SAD.

what a shocking news.

i don wanna act like i don care.

and neither so i wanna show i care.

i really need sometime to put everything aside.

but maybe, it really doesn't matter anyhow.

i somehow feel that you don see it that important.

so, i still not yet see the rainbows after the rain.

forgive and forgive.

the reason you will forgive is,

you want people to forgive you if you make mistakes.

so, just forgive will you?

sometimes, it may just seems like nothing.

and can actually think it never happen before.

but why? keep it so hard? let it go jo.

cause you want her to do so to you.

Updated pictures.

small surprise, but rather.. Sweet =)

`

`

and this this this. I SAW TWO OF IT at the carpark.

centre really do have alot of rich people around. haha
missingMUMMY.

Jermaine Leong is HERE <3>

it helps to know you're not alone.
when something begins, you generally have no idea how it's going to end.

2009-05-25T20:59:00.002+08:00

Im Not Feeling Good.
Stop bothering people's life will you?
As, you don really know do they care about you.
So why? Don't take it too hard jolene.
Everything will have the way to solve it.
You will pull through.

2009-05-18T23:27:00.005+08:00

Oh well, it's monday once again,

No worries, soon monday will be over.

And there's another day to be looking forward for =)

Hmm, looking forward? school? -.-

I'm like questioning myself and answering the same time.

Work was alright. and will it get better? haha

Oh ya! I saw jean today.

You look the same but pretty then before. =) haha

I seriously think some improvment is needed for me.

Esp, talking to hong kong people.

Simply hard to really understand what are they saying.

It gaves me hell lots of hard time speaking to them. LOLS

Friday night was chill out night at Double O with peeps.

(Jia Xin, Siqi, Simin, Chris, Kittie)

Also, Beatrice and her friends plus Zhen Yuan with his friend.

It was a crazy night out there!

People who seems like so quite will actually turn crazy.

Example? Simin. hahahhha

Simply was, drink, drank, drunk! and hell lots of dancing and "5,10"

Chris was the losing one.

By Bea's "5, 10" as Bea just simply keep calling "10" LOLS

All indeed was high enough.

And is really so funny to see the unglam side of everyone, but not me! =x

Pictures at "Double 0"

The Killer Shots.
`

OH ya! that twis, my signature post!. HAHHAhahHAHa
`

`
PS: And Bea, is indeed painful =( you you! DRUNK!

Updated photos, taken at "Xin Tua'09"
`

`

missingMUMMY.

When chances is given, are you actually treasuring it?

I just don wish to have an ending,

and don't make me have to go the hard way.

We were bestie remember?

Rainbows after the rain.

I hope is for the better. <3

2009-05-12T16:38:00.004+08:00

Work, I wonder what will it be like.

With only two bosses around.

I guess is really boring for me. arghhh!

recently too much incident happened.

and really makes me realise so much.

so much which i thought is not going to be like this.

the world may not know how it feels like.

but do myself know how does it feels?

must everyone get so eyesore with others do and say?

and that's just human being?

is nature for people to feel that way.

is not easy walking through all this.

I know you are not feeling good.

and i wish i could do something to make you feel better.

but I'm afraid of getting reject.

or words which i don't feel like listening.

and yet, you still say it.

I know is not me anymore.

but i don't want to see you in this state.

I just wish it will just get better for you.

missingMUMMY.

is raining almost every night.

is cosy.... and lonely at times.

Can I Pull Through?

2009-05-11T22:35:00.001+08:00

Mum's Love

When you were 1 yr old, she fed you and bathed you.

You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 yrs old, she taught you to walk,

you thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 yrs old, she made all your meals with love.

You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 yrs old, she gave you some crayons.

You thanked her by colouring the dining room table.

When you were 5 yrs old, she dressed you for the holidays.

You thanked her by plopping into the nearest.

When you were 6 yrs old, she walked you to school.

You thanked her by screaming, "I'm not going!"

When you were 7 yrs old, she bought you a baseball.

You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor's window.

When you were 8 yrs old, she handed you an ice-cream.

You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 yrs old, she paid for piano lessons.

You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 yrs old, she drove you all day,

from soccer to gymnastic to one birthday party after another.

You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 yrs old, she took you and your friends to the movies.

You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 yrs old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.

You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13 yrs old, she suggested a haircut.

You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14 yrs old, she paid for a month stay at summer camp.

You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15 yrs old, she came home from work looking for a hug.

You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16 yrs old, she taught you how to drive her car.

You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17 yrs old, she was expecting an important call.

You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18 yrs old, she cried at your high school graduation.

You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19 yrs old, she paid for your college tuition,

drove you to campus carried your bags.

You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm

so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20 yrs old, she asked whether you were seeing someone.

You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."

When you were 21 yrs old, she suggested certain careers for your future.

You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you!"

When you were 22 yrs old, she hugged you at your college graduation.

You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23 yrs old, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.

You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24 yrs old,

she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future.

You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"

When you were 25 yrs old, she helped to pay for your wedding,

and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.

You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30 yrs old, she called with some advice on the baby.

You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday.

You thanked her by asking you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.

You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died.

And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on your heart.

Never forget to love her more than ever if your mother is still around.

And if she's not, remember her unconditional love and pass it on.

I Stop At 16.

2009-05-10T17:09:00.003+08:00

It's sunday once again.

exams are over! holiday soon to be over. =( haha

i seriously cannot find my belt.

don't know where the hack it went to.

and pissing me off like ... -.-

thinking back these few days.

i seriously think, is quite something.

something which i didn't expect.

something which i didn't expect it to happen to me. it does.

ya disappointment after one another.

look into the mirror and ask yourself this.

how much did you say you can forgive and you really did?

how much you say you don care, and you really dont.

is it what people said is right?

you can forgive and forget, but you cannot forget the name.

at the end of the day, maybe you never really did.

is just seems to be you did forgive.

maybe i not fit to be some people's friend.

happy mother's day mi.

don like to be waking up and feeling like this.

shouldn't be today. it shouldn't be.

2009-05-10T17:03:00.004+08:00

Thank you for all the wishes people!

appreciate for the effort you put in for me.

although didn't manage to take a picture with you guys.

but you know, the crowd. haha.

but i bet you guys know who you are. =)

Appreciate it alot ya.

love love you guys so much =)

2009-05-02T23:54:00.000+08:00

2009-05-01T03:04:00.004+08:00

We can't undo our mistakes,

And we rarely forgive ourselves for them,

But it's a hazard of the trade.

But as human beings, we can always try to do better, to be better,

To right or wrong even when it feels irreversible.

Of course "I'm Sorry" dosen't always cut it.

Maybe because we use it in so many different ways.

As a weapon, as an excuse.

When our actions say what words never can.

When we get it right, "I'm Sorry" is perfect.

When we get it right, "I'm Sorry" is redemption;

And when we get it wrong, it will just be wrong;

2009-04-29T01:25:00.005+08:00

But even when our hopes give way to reality

and we finally have to surrrender to the truth

We've lost today battle, not tomorrow's war;

Here's the thing about surrender, once you do it

Actually give in, you forget why you were fighting in the first place;

Is just so weird.

weird when my senior actually gave me this task.

record office voicemail... USING MY VOICE.

while trying to get the best out of it.

i felt so irritated by my own voice. LOL.

as, the office is so quiet,

and there, me! talking alone. repeating the sentences. -.- LAME.

haha, ok mah! my voice very man meh! sexy ok. hAHahHAHhha.

missingMUMMY.

"xiao bai jia xiao bai" = "xiao bao 2(tu)". LAME!! haha.

is me that you refering to?

please, i need to know.

don't let things just leave it there. please.

2009-04-23T22:02:00.003+08:00

studying and studying.

at last, today is over. =)

things change as time goes.

look back and realise, so much different.

anyone know about this?

ytd midnight, the wind was so strong.

last happened was 9 years back.

the wind is so strong

as thou is same as the speed at expressway. LOL

oh what shit man, im bored.

seriously bored.

missingMUMMY.

it won't change right? it wont.

we will just have yesterday.

2009-04-20T21:25:00.002+08:00

Yup yup, it was day 1 at my new working place today.

was having heart attack in the morning, couldn't really cool myself down.

and that smoke, pull me through. HAHA.

office was rather small, people are just that few.

but ya, everything still went well. people are friendly.

worried will i be having lunch alone, and here goes.

boss actually bought me to the thai restaurant at liang court.

for welcoming me on board! =)

alot to learn and is quite challenging for me now.

but no worries right? jojohui will pull through.

family and love ones are happy for me and so do i.

i know you guys are proud of me lo! act like one say i action. LOL!

ya, will be working only mondays until exams are over. =)

thanks love, for sending me to work on my first day.

giving me the support i needed. <3

missingMUMMY.

are you looking at me now?

smiling at me right now? =)

2009-04-17T16:55:00.007+08:00

I lost my way,

And I'm glad i found another road.

something which i could look forward a little.

I found a new job, in a IT company. I was lucky and proud of myself.

Plus, ting might be working the same building as me. =)

Will be starting off as a part time on coming monday first.

wondering how will things go and what will it be like.

I heard you calling, is it true?

You heard my prayers, Thank You.

When everyone telling you something that is true.

You need to pull through.

They are doing something for you, something good.

which is asking you to get over it.

I didn't know how much i actually treasure,

Till that very moment i actually lost it.

And seeing is just not one thing I'm trying to hold back.

But is everything. And everything seems too late.

I know what is like to be this way and how it feels.

I'm seriously clear and mind was trying to set.

But just a little thing of everything.

Which makes me couldn't really move on.

I've been having alot of sleepless nights.

I couldn't really shut my mind these days.

and always having deep thoughts.

It won't stop wad is happening right now, I know.

And is never good to feel this way.

That's me, and i should be treated this way.

I don't know will people around me really understand.

Cause, i don't really do understand it.

Just by being this way, I seriously don't.

missingMUMMY.

kkmiggohne

I by pass your place, yesterday.

gkteaonnihcg

I wanna share it, but i know i can't.

Will rainbows appear when rain stop?

Pictures and memories will pull me through.

2009-04-15T00:53:00.005+08:00

It's starts from now. I'm lost. Kinda?

Staring at my computer and i dunno what to do.

Nothing to look forward, Nothing to think about.

I felt this impact, i'm seriously lost.

How much is enough to say you understand?

How much you know is coming and still will go ahead?

When you see nothing good about it, will you still move on?

I'm such a loser. I just seriously think so.

What's so special to be me? seriously what's so?

Maybe i'm just the demanding one.

Maybe i'm just the one who is always finding faults.

Maybe i'm just sucks in all this.

Why i still do something when i know is nothing?

Why still do it, why is nothing anymore.

I don't like tonight, because I feel so alone, so not me.

missingMUMMY.

Once again, breakdown.

How many times then I'll just stop it?

is really, really killling me.

edited, Photos taken at Tampines 1 today.

I manage to put the specs on,

but still a little no clear, you know.. the kid. LOL

Their mummy's was busy buying cloths for them

so ya, in order to entertain them,

this is wad i did. LOL.

let them hit the mirror. they so loving it lo. =))

2009-04-14T03:16:00.001+08:00

2009-04-13T23:58:00.002+08:00

I woke up today thinking of gg for study plus swimming.

and then, here comes my sister telling me, NO! shocked.

is just simple, my san jie coming over with jonas.

and just because i'm home she's coming over.

so whatever plan today to do, got to be postpone. LOL!

sorry SIMIN! sorry AARON!

we can have it again you know? sure sure one. hahah.

played the whole day with two little kids.

one crawling around, one walking around.

the whole living room is upside down. haha

and got the chance to feed jonas today!

was on our way going out for dinner.

i took my specs out and put it on jonas.

at first he was just so snooked about it.

and then i quickly took out my phone.

too bad. before i could really capture the photo.

he took it out already. damn!

but seriously, CUTE can?

like young "ah pei" like that. LOL!
so ya, this is the photo that suppose with the specs

but you know, that kid, and my cam. wrong timing! hahaha

2009-04-10T14:54:00.002+08:00

is raining ever since. wonder why.

im having very very bad headaches lately.

as thou, some stones pressing down my head. -.-

met aaron, chris and joanne on Gucci's birthday.

anyway, Happy Birthday once again.

hope you enjoy your day ya? =)

oh ya, as gucci's bd is at mac, aaron felt outkast. LOL!

he said, im already coming to 30 years old le leh

still want me to bring toys home? hahahah.

i told him, nvm lah! young at heart lo. hahahhaha.

photos taken.

2009-04-09T00:46:00.000+08:00

2009-04-08T20:56:00.005+08:00

you said, maybe next week not putting me for a week work.

thanks ah. THANKS.

do go round the world, hoping i'll help you.

the more you act blur with me.

the more i won't help.

dunno am i your supervisor or dog.

argh, whatever!~

Photos taken on Samantha's Birthday. =)

and oh, i got a cute jie fu. LOL

he is the nai pa of the day =D

missingMUMMY

one, where did two go?

2009-04-07T04:34:00.001+08:00

It follows us home, changes our lives.

Maybe we should get a little messed up, before we can step up.

2009-04-02T23:51:00.003+08:00

Ladies Night @ Powerhouse.

Went to pray mummy the next day.

damn, hangover~

mind was spinning still when i woke up. LOL!

later on, headed to Da Jie's House.

Oh my~ cute little Jonas.

HE CAN WALK ALREADY. noob me. haha.

so CUTE can?

missingMUMMY.

Mi, Thank You <3

2009-04-01T17:16:00.002+08:00

I had a girl's night over my place on monday.

bea, min & ting.

Thanks girls, for being there when i need,

acc me through the night. Loves.

I saw again, drunk person. =x

who said he wants to drink and end up the first to gone?

SIM GUAN HONG, PHILANDER! like a dog ! LOL

and is just so funny listening to this couple talking about it.

Min: Next time don't tell me you want to drink lo!

is it coming clear?

is this what everyone wants it to be?

cool down jo, you need sometime to listen to yourself.

you are gg to pull through like before.

missingMUMMY.

just by typing it all out,

i cried like a kid once again.